Wednesday, October 13, 2004

A Bit of Clever Humor

Scrappleface writes fake but accurate AP press release parodies. He's had a number of quite good ones lately. Specifically, this, this, this, and this. You have to scroll down a little on his pages to see each item. I've excerpted the last one in full below.

----[excerpt in full]----

Kerry Says Do-Not-Terrorize List Would End Nuisance

(2004-10-11) -- Democrat presidential candidate John Forbes Kerry today announced the details of his plan to completely eliminate the nuisance of terrorism.

"I have a plan," said Mr. Kerry, "to create a do-not-terrorize list that Americans could sign up for on the internet. And if any terrorist would flout the law and attack someone whose name is on the list, he and his terror cell would be slammed with a $1,000 fine for each person killed and $500 for each injured survivor."

Mr. Kerry, who is also a U.S. senator, announced the plan after receiving international acclaim for telling The New York Times, "We have to get back to the place we were, where terrorists are not the focus of our lives, but they're a nuisance.''

The Democrat said his plan "hits Al Qaeda in the pocketbook where it hurts the most."

He said he's also considering a suggestion by running-mate John Edwards to double the fines for nuisance terror strikes during the dinner hour.

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