Solomonic Wisom

John Hawkins has recast the King Solomon story (you know the one where two women are arguing over who the baby belongs to, so Solomon says he'll just cut the baby in two and give each woman one half, finally giving the baby to the woman who is willing to give it up, rather than seeing it die), for a modern American audience.

Brilliant job, here's how it starts:

"Are you sick and tired of those dry, old, Bible stories that don't seem to relate to life in today's America? Well, RWN is coming to your rescue by rewriting the Bible to reflect modern mores. Enjoy!"

Two women came before wise king Solomon with a baby, each claiming the child as their own. Solomon faced a dilemma: how could he know which woman was the true mother of the infant? Solomon quickly came up with a clever idea that would settle the question once and for all. Solomon spoke to the two women:

Since we don't know which of you is the mother, we're going to take the baby and leave him in his crib without food and water until he dies. What do you think about that?"

Also, via Hawkins, this is darned good, too.