It's All Very Simple

E-mail from a friend, who's been home sick watching a lot of Discover Channel :

"God created everything in 7 days - all the Earth, planets, animals, forests and man and woman, right Dad?"

"Heh - heh - No, no Billy. That's just a silly story from Sunday school they tell little kids like you to keep you from asking too many questions. The straight shot of it is that, billions of years ago, everything used to be at a single point, and for mathematical reasons, it exploded. Then most of it self-annihilated immediately, but the stuff left over cooled over billions of years and is the universe today. Globs of goop fell back in on itself, making super massive black holes inside of huge discs of hydrogen. The gravitational stress of the holes falling in on themselves caused super-massive, short-lived stars to form (you see, the bigger the star is, the faster it burns up) - ANYWAY, then the heavier elements were created when these stars up-and-went super-nova and our solar system formed from some left over debris from one of these giant explosions - then some X-factor occurred which recombined all the junk into amino acids in a mud puddle where life started somehow and through the process of evolution (which has never been observed but is THOUGHT to be a process of natural selection), which (heh-heh) led to elephants, us and eventually this second Togos #10 I'm about to bite into. Oh, and don't forget, Billy, empty space also is teaming with matter that forms and then pops from energy borrowed from the future and that dark matter makes up 96% of the universe, but we can't detect it. There's some string-theory stuff about vibrating dimensions the width of a human hair too, but I don't quite have a handle on all that. It all makes for a much simpler reality than that silly God stuff, son."

-=Buford T. Atheist