And Yet I Didn't Find You

From my various readings (and attempted debatings) on the internet, I find myself genuinely grieved by the attitude of my atheist brothers. The mildest attempt to invite them to think more seriously about the arguments in favor of theism, and more critically about those in favor of atheism, are generally met with complete incomprehension, contempt, the spouting of worn-out, philosophically invalid cliches, general derision, and often, after a furious display of intellectual superiority, the immediate demand to rigorously prove everything under the sun. It is my fervent wish for these brothers that they avoid finding themselves in the following logically possible position:

=========

A Parable

SCENE: The last day. The atheist soul finds itself face to face with The Lord, and the following dialog takes place, between The Lord (J), and the atheist (A):

J: Depart from me. I do not know you. You have spent your life diligently avoiding me, and now I shall fulfill this wish for you.

A: But Lord, I spent my entire life diligently searching for you, and expended a great effort, but I didn't find you.

I took the utmost care in my search! For instance, I cannot count the number of times I demanded a proof for your existence from a blog comment.

Yet none was forthcoming.

I diligently read from a wide range of arguments, counter-arguments, and opinions. I read everyone from Dawkins to Harris to Dennett, to Hitchens, casting my net wide.

And yet I didn't find you.

I scrupulously and skeptically examined and criticized every jot and tittle of arguments in your favor (always with the background premise that you do not exist--because I had the absolutely pure and virtuous desire of achieving complete logical rigor), while-- always making sure I held the same background premise of your non-existence in order to be consistent--hastily, triumphantly, and whole-heartedly embracing any argument not in your favor that looked good at first glance.

And yet I didn't find you.

I studiously sought out and catalogued evidence and arguments against your goodness, while ignoring all evidence and arguments in favor of your goodness (because I wanted to err on the side of caution, given the stakes).

And yet I didn't find you.

I limited my queries exclusively to only the wisest minds on the internet, such as those at Panda's Thumb, Pharyngula, Talk.Origins, and Internet Infidels. I limited my fellowship only to other earnest seekers on those sites. All minds inferior to these, I stayed away from, unless to mock.

And yet I didn't find you.

I'd ask theological questions of these inferior minds, and when they offered theological answers, I mocked them. Because theology is not science.

And yet I didn't find you.

I searched carefully amidst all the material beings of the universe.

And yet I didn't find you.

I insisted upon seeing you as nothing but the conclusion of an argument, and never as an actual person I could query for myself and come to know.

And yet I didn't find you.

I studiously avoided anything resembling an attitude of hope that you might exist, because I did not want to bias my careful search in any way.

And yet I didn't find you.

You see, I earnestly and honestly searched for you with all my heart and with all my mind and with all my strength.

And yet I didn't find you.

The truth is, there was just no good evidence for you.

J: Amen, amen. I say to you again. I do not know you. Depart from me.

Atheist begins his recession to an infinite distance. He can be heard murmuring.

A: This isn't fair! Nobody ever warned me about this! If you designed everything, WHO DESIGNED YOU?!? Prove to me that there is not a teapot orbiting Saturn! Where are Thor and Jupiter? I want to worship them! You can't have made me because I have a back-ache and almost choked on food once!...I demand an appeal! Take me to see the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!...I don't see Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or any invisible pink unicorns here, so why do I see you?!?...I didn't need you to be good! And I was good!! I stood up for a woman's right to choose! I stood up for sexual freedom! I....never...hated...anybody....who....didn't...deserve it!!

=========

I do see the above as a logical possibility. And I would not wish it upon anyone. I appeal to atheists to take the question much more seriously. And to take the stakes much more seriously. For those who think they've "seen through" or "refuted" Pascal's Wager (which is not a proof of God, but merely advice on where to place the benefit of the doubt), please reconsider. And if none of the above resembles you in any way, then no harm, no foul, and no worries.